And it’s all the fault of people like me.
We in the media — neutral, left and right — are the ones that caused this blight of buffoons to be unleashed upon the unsuspecting country.
DONALD TRUMP WINS FLORIDA, ILLINOIS, AND NORTH CAROLINA GOP PRIMARIES; KASICH WINS OHIO; MARCO RUBIO DROPS OUT OF PRESIDENTIAL RACE
We, along with legions of social media addicts, conspiracy theorists, and high-priced whores known as political advisers, have made it impossible for anyone who isn’t a sociopath, (as opposed to a socialist), to run for higher office.
Why don’t we have a JFK, a Reagan, an FDR stepping up to the plate any longer? It’s simple, stupid.
It’s because the best American minds in the world of business and politics don’t want their children, their spouses, their private lives, their college misdeeds, their every misspoken word, every sexual encounter, and every business deal spun into something rotten.
As though saying that Jesus has chosen you to be President is saner than saying the Iraq War destabilized the Middle East.
As though fighting an assault-weapons ban is safer than confronting the statistics of mass murder. As though saying you’d like to punch someone who disagrees with you is more logical than saying you believe in diplomacy. As though filling the uninformed with fear of foreigners and black teenagers is more sensible than the facts.
As though coveting the support of the least informed, the most bigoted, the most fearful and the most volatile, the most easily swayed, is healthier for this nation than winning over the most level-headed.
As though accusing your opponents of incompetence before endorsing them for your own political gain isn’t dangerous as hell.
As though screaming about outsourcing jobs while having your goods manufactured in China isn’t two-faced.
As though making it impossible for immigrants to move here, even though you are the son of immigrants, isn’t despicable.
HILLARY CLINTON NABS DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY WINS IN FLORIDA, N.C. AND OHIO AS BERNIE SANDERS STILL LOOKING FOR WIN
As though John Kasich isn’t the most decent of them all.
As though stealing someone else’s campaign themes, or encouraging hatred, as the two leading contenders have done, is ethical.
As though we don’t owe each other a big apology for not telling the truth loud enough and clear enough — and screw the hits, the shares, the frigging social media likes.
The truth is that the emperor isn’t naked after all. The presumptive emperor is wearing a Chinese-made suit from the Trump collection.
Instead of being by the side of her husband, who has a collapsed lung and broken ribs and shoulder from a snowmobile accident, Sarah Palin was on the Trump stump Monday using subliminal racist language to align herself with the man who can put this idiot into a cabinet position.
She told a crowd, “And what we don’t have time for is all that petty punk-ass little thuggery stuff that’s been going on with these quote, unquote protesters.”
RICHARD SIMMONS PHONE INTERVIEWS CREATE MORE CONCERN FOR FRIENDS WHO HAVEN'T SEEN RECLUSIVE FITNESS GURU IN YEARS: 'HE DIDN'T SOUND LIKE HE WAS IN A GOOD PLACE'
Sarah calls protesters “thugs” but last time she made news stumping for Trump, her son Track was at her home getting arrested for punching his girlfriend in the face while brandishing an assault rifle.
“Thug” used to be the “microaggressive” subliminal way of saying “guinea” and “wop” until “Guido” became its reprehensible replacement.
Now “thug” is the subliminal white way to use the “N-word” without being accused of using the “N-word.” Black people know it and everybody in the political world knows it. She knows it, too.
Is there a subliminal word for “stupid?”
Wait loss: Has Richard Simmons finally lost so much weight he’s disappeared into nothingness? The weight loss guru in the man-short-shorts has disappeared and his friends think his housekeeper is holding him hostage by witchcraft. Simmons called into “E.T.” and the “Today” show voice, not video to prove he’s alive and well. It only convinced everybody that he’s not. . . . Broken men: Now he finds out! Two years after Kristen Stewart broke up Rupert Sanders’ marriage by cheating with him on her then-boyfriend Robert Pattinson and breaking his heart, she’s breaking the Internet by kissing a girl, the French singer, Soko. . . . Cruz control: Caitlyn Jenner got past her gender confusion only to find herself the tragic victim of political confusion. She says she wants to be the “trans ambassador” for LGBT-repulsed Ted Cruz if he becomes President. She also maintains that Donald Trump is good on women’s issues. She needs more time as a woman to understand that she has become a blockhead.
SEE IT: HILLARY CLINTON WINKS TWICE, MAKES LIGHT BULBS BURST IN 'BROAD CITY' CAMEO
A fawningly unfunny preview of Comedy Central’s “Broad City” has Hillary Clinton winking her way into a fake Clinton campaign headquarters as stars Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer babble incoherently with shock and awe.
Each time Clinton blinks, lights blow out. What that magic means is hard to know except that tragically the preview leaked just as the news hit that the House of Representatives was considering a bill to make magic a “recognizable art form.”
Do art forms now have to be recognized by Congress to be acceptable? One of the bill’s sponsors is Staten Island’s own, Rep. Dan Donovan, who replaced congressional-illusionist-turned convict, the sleight of hand, quick of fist Michael Grimm. Must be something in the water in Staten Island.
Why don’t airline captains ever get on the PA and announce what the hell is going on when the plane hits tremendous turbulence? It’s inhumane.
On Monday night, on a Delta flight coming back from Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, the plane felt like it hit something, started dipping, shaking and dipping some more. Or that’s what it felt like. The hung-over lady weightlifter I was sitting next to and I held hands and low-screamed. Not one word from the cockpit. We were sure we were going down. However, there is some good news. The lady weightlifter and I are now engaged much to my husband’s surprise.
12 YRS. A ‘SLAVE’?
Former stripper Amber Baptiste says Silicon Valley venture capitalist, Michael Goguen, kept her as a sex slave for a dozen years.
No, not like she was tied up in his basement and he fed her dog rations through a cage or anything. But by taking her on trips and giving her hundreds of thousands of dollars and then giving her an STD, while he busied himself marrying two other women. She alleges that during the 12 years he kept raping her.
Baptiste is suing Goguen because he then promised her $40 million to keep her silence but didn’t pay the whole amount. So wait. You can sue for breach of blackmail?
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